Regret

Regret is the feeling that we made a wrong decision, and would make a different choice if facing the same situation again.

How we live with our choices, once they’ve been made, is the most important factor in dealing with regret.

  • Identify Your Emotions

    Sometimes it can be difficult to describe or name your emotional states. Use both your reasoning and your feelings as guides, to help you learn how the decision to have an abortion may be affecting you. Understanding how your emotions can help you achieve self-acceptance, and healing.

    Steps to address Regret:

    Ask yourself some important questions:

    • What brings you comfort or strength in hard times?
    • What do you enjoy doing that you do not usually make time for?
    • Can you create more time and space for the things you need and enjoy?
    • What do you need to help you through the experience of abortion?

    Exercises to “Remember My Reasons:”

    • Write down your reasons, so you can look at them when you need to be reminded why you made the choice you did.
    • Ask someone you trust to remind you of your reasons.
    • Devote attention to something that was a factor in your decision, such as your work, school, family, or life goals
    • Remind yourself to remember your reasons anytime you think about the abortion.
  • Self-Care Techniques

    Remember to take care of yourself, physically and emotionally, after the procedure. Because abortion is complex, feelings about it are also complex. There are various activities that can to help you provide for your emotional wellbeing:

    • Journaling – Writing can be very therapeutic. The following questions are helpful to write about to remind oneself of your decision: What were your reasons for having an abortion? How would your life have been different if you had not had an abortion?
    • Health & Well-being – Do you like to exercise? What are your favourite healthy activities? Is there a hobby you already enjoy, or something new you wish to try? Go out and do those things.
    • Get outside – If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed and sad, take a walk outside and get some fresh air.
    • Do something nice for yourself – Light a candle and enjoy a hot bath, re-read a favourite book, re-watch a favourite show or movie or get out for a walk.
    • Rest – Take time to listen to what your body needs. Turn off phones and gadgets and have a warm bath or a nap.
    • Be Creative – Being creative, in any way, can be helpful to release any emotions. Draw something, paint something, sing and dance, cook a favourite meal, or explore a favourite old activity in new way.
  • Meditation 101

    Many things in life are beyond our control. But, we can take responsibility for our own states of mind. Meditation is an evidence-based tool proven to improve quality of life, and our ability to cope with stress. All you need is a quiet place where you can sit comfortably. Here is a short meditation you can access anytime you need.

     

    To Learn more, visit Moment Meditation at http://momentmeditation.com

  • Reach Out to Others

    Having someone provide care and understanding before, during and after an abortion can be one of the most important factors in your ability to cope well.

    If you can’t think of anyone who you might trust to share your story with, you can reach out for free, anonymous support here:

    Exhale After Abortion Talkline 1-866-4-EXHALE (Mon to Fri 5 – 10 pm PST Sat – Sun 12 – 10pm PT) Service available in Spanish, English, Cantonese, Mandarin and Vietnamese.

    Counselors will support you with pro-voice counselling.

    For more information visit www.exhaleprovoice.org

    All-Options Talkine – all-options.org or 1-888-493-0092 for unconditional, judgment-free support for all your feelings, decisions and experiences with pregnancy, parenting, abortion and adoption. Mon-Fri 10am – 1am, Sat – Sun 10am – 6pm EST

  • Access to Counsellors

    Each woman will experience different feelings after an abortion and will deal with it in different ways. Many women don’t feel the need to talk after their abortion. For some women, it’s useful to talk through their grief. If you feel it might help you to talk, you can arrange counselling over the telephone at the clinic where you were treated. This service is free.

    CounsellingBC.com