Though grief process can be painful while you’re going through it, rest assured that the feelings of grief, if allowed expression, should eventually diminish.

Women may grieve for the pregnancy even if it is the right decision to end the pregnancy. They may also grieve the loss of an important relationship, or even the concept of themselves as “perfect” people who never make mistakes.

Grief is personal; everyone grieves different.

  • Identify Your Emotions

    Sometimes it can be difficult to describe or name your emotional states. Use both your reasoning and your feelings as guides, to help you learn how the decision to have an abortion may be affecting you. Understanding how your emotions can help you achieve self-acceptance, and healing.

    Grief is a feeling about loss. When you are facing an unplanned pregnancy, you may feel loss on many levels. Grief can be overwhelming, distracting and disruptive to normal routine and life. Initially grief can feel quite powerful, but in time, there is resolution and the grief will feel less intense.

    Steps to address Grief:

    1. Identify what triggers your grief.
    2. Do not blame yourself or others
    3. Confront your emotions – you may feel grief but also guilt, remorse, anxiety, anger, shame. Allow yourself to confront each and everyone of these emotions.
    4. Nourish yourself by surrounding yourself with positive affirmation.
    5. Own your reality and let go of your past. Owning your emotions also means trying to let go of the past and not clinging to an old identity to keep fitting in with the same crowd. This can lead to denial and a sense that your new situation is less than what it used to be.
    1. Eat healthy, and maintain your physical strength.
    2. Allow your grief to be a catalyst for self growth.
  • Self-Care Techniques

    To help process your grief it is important to take care of yourself, physically and emotionally, after the procedure. Because abortion is complex, feelings about it are also complex. Here are some strategies that you may find helpful to process your grief. All you need is five minutes.

    1. Journaling – Writing can be very therapeutic. The following questions are helpful to write about to remind oneself of your decision: What were your reasons for having an abortion? How would your life have been different if you had not had an abortion?
    2. Health & Well-being – Do you like to exercise? What are your favourite healthy activities? Is there a hobby you already enjoy, or something new you wish to try? Go out and do those things.
    3. Get outside – If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed and sad, take a walk outside and get some fresh air.
    4. Do something nice for yourself – Light a candle and enjoy a hot bath, re-read a favourite book, re-watch a favourite show or movie or get out for a walk.
    5. Rest – Take time to listen to what your body needs. Turn off phones and gadgets and have a warm bath or a nap.
    6. Be Creative– Being creative, in any way, can be helpful to release any emotions. Draw something, paint something, sing and dance, cook a favourite meal, or explore a favourite old activity in new way.
  • Meditation 101

    Many things in life are beyond our control. But, we can take responsibility for our own states of mind. Meditation is an evidence-based tool proven to improve quality of life, and our ability to cope with stress. All you need is a quiet place where you can sit comfortably. Here is a short meditation you can access anytime you need.


    To Learn more, visit Moment Meditation at

  • Reach Out to Someone

    Having someone provide care and understanding before, during and after an abortion can be one of the most important factors in your ability to cope well.

    If you can’t think of anyone who you might trust to share your story with, you can reach out for free, anonymous support here:

    Exhale After Abortion Talkline 1-866-4-EXHALE (Mon to Fri 5 – 10 pm PST Sat – Sun 12 – 10pm PT) Service available in Spanish, English, Cantonese, Mandarin and Vietnamese.

    Counselors will support you with pro-voice counselling.

    For more information visit

    All-Options Talkline – or 1-888-493-0092 for unconditional, judgment-free support for all your feelings, decisions and experiences with pregnancy, parenting, abortion and adoption. Mon-Fri 10am – 1am, Sat – Sun 10am – 6pm EST

  • Access to Counsellors

    Each woman will experience different feelings after an abortion and will deal with it in different ways. Many women don’t feel the need to talk after their abortion. For some women, it’s useful to talk through their grief. If you feel it might help you to talk, you can arrange counselling over the telephone at the clinic where you were treated. This service is free.